Leadership is a very mysterious thing. Who has it, who doesn't, how can you tell, and does it really mean anything? Well, I believe it means a lot. But the truth is it only means a lot to the person who has it and exudes it. That's you.

In my opinion, it doesn't mean a hill of beans to anyone else if you have leadership qualities because "they" could care less and you almost always don't get paid more for having it. For example, no one will walk up to you and say "I just noticed you have leadership skills based on the actions you just completed and as such you will now get paid more in life for having them."

On the other hand, if you have "leadership skills" as mentioned in this article, then over time you will reap rewards from using them because as Zig Ziglar says, "If you'll just help enough other people get what they want then you'll get what you want." The problem exists in how one defines leadership. We'll take a look at how I define it here.

You see some people mistake longevity in a position or experience with leadership. I don't agree and you can see that when elected officials are not re-elected. Why aren't they re-elected? Because they lack leadership; the true meaning of leadership; to serve others.

I was interviewed recently by a well respected organization and was asked about my leadership skills. I told them that I lead by example. Or in other words I show leadership by doing what I would expect another leader to do or that which I would expect my colleagues to do, with the exception of doing more, doing it faster, and doing it better. Things that Brian Tracy talk about. I go the extra mile, I show up on time, I encourage and lift up others and so on.

Now their meaning of leadership was different from mine. They confused leadership with influence. What they were really asking is how are you in your ability to influence and persuade people to buy into your idea or concept in order to get them to do what it is you want them to do. It's obvious that leadership is a very misunderstood term.

The best definition I found at Merriam-Webster was "Capacity to lead", which is quite vague if you ask me. It can fit towards my belief of what "leadership" means. But it doesn't get to the core meaning I have so I then looked up the word "lead" and it's no wonder there's so much confusion around understanding "lead" and "leadership." I found about 17 different definitions of which I liked "to guide someone or something along the way" the best.

I see leadership as helping people do, have, or become that which they want for themselves but don't have the courage to do themselves. You see in simple terms, leadership is how well you help others that ultimately brings out the best within themselves.

Influence is often construed more negatively in that you might influence others to get your agenda completed or for personal gain. And that's okay as long as everyone benefits from the act of influencing. Unfortunately most of the time only the person doing the influencing benefits.

As you can see, its possible influencing can be either of a positive or negative nature and research shows that if you utilize positive leadership skills you'll get improved results 70% of the time over only 15% of the time when working in a negative way. And even if you are successful when negatively influencing others, they will know it and won't respect you or like you for having done so. As a result, in my mind you will have lost your ability to lead those people you are trying to be a leader to, ultimately sabotaging your efforts to lead.

Be a leader who leads by example. Do and be willing to do that which you are asking others to do and always encourage others to do things that will benefit them and you will become a meaningful leader.